When it comes to holiday parties, a little kitsch is more than okay—it's a must, especially if you're hosting an ugly sweater party or Secret Santa. The vibe is already lighthearted, so you might as well indulge your inner crafter and create one great, big, delightfully unexpected centerpiece that will make your friends drop everything and say, "wait—I've gotta snap this."
Clearly, you need a Christmas tree made out of pigs in a blanket.
It's bold, it's impressive, it's unbelievably tasty (Who can resist pigs in a blanket?! No one worth knowing, that's who.)—and even if you swear you don't have any DIY skills at all, you can totally conquer this. Here's how.
Step 1: Gotta Get Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'
You'll need to make at least 50 to 60 pigs in a blanket to cover a 12- to 14-inch tree. (We used about 80 to get that full, rounded look pictured above.) You could use classic Pillsbury Crescent roll dough or, if you prefer a lighter, flakier dough, try puff pastry cut into one-inch strips.
To get nice, golden breading, beat a few eggs and use a pastry brush to coat the tops of each pig in a blanket. Then, take things to the next level by sprinkling on a variety of toppings—because anyone can make standard piggies, but you're the kind of renegade-wizard-genius who gives people a whole new set of flavors to choose from.
Here are a few ideas:
- Fresh rosemary
- Asiago
- Crushed red pepper
- Everything bagel seasoning
- Shredded Parmesan
- Sesame seeds
- Buffalo-wing seasoning mix
- Poppy seeds
Step 2: Chop Down That Tree
This is when your long-dormant, sixth-grade presentation skills awaken—and you realize your hands are good for more than typing, texting and shoveling food into your mouth (who knew?). Grab a piece of foamboard—we used a 20-inch by 30-inch board, but if you're feeling more adventurous, have at it—and place it vertically on a table.
Use a ruler to mark a straight line across the board, about 6 to 7 inches up. Cut that off and use it to form the base of the board. Out of the remaining portion, draw a large, curved triangle and use an X-acto knife or a box cutter to cut it out cleanly. You only want the tree to be about 12 to 14 inches tall, so you'll have to trim the bottom accordingly, leaving a quarter-inch "stump" that's about 8 inches wide that you can stick into the base of the tree to help hold it up.
Mark the center of the base and use the X-acto knife/box cutter to cut out a stump-sized slit to "plant" the tree into. Once secured, tape the base of the tree to the stump—this will keep it from wobbling when you add the pigs in a blanket.
Step 3: Trim the Tree
It's a tree-trimming party ... for one. And you have to fight the constant urge to add one, eat one, each step of the way. But, as long as you can curb your cravings, this part is pretty easy: Just use toothpicks to create rows of pigs in a blanket, gradually covering the tree. For a more rounded tree, layer pigs in a blanket on top of each other, using toothpicks to secure them.
Warning: This will probably take you 15 to 20 minutes. It's a good time to blast a Spotify playlist and maybe mentally rank your favorite holiday movies, in case you find yourself in an epic debate over whether A Christmas Story is more quotable than National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation at your party.
Admittedly, the one downside to creating this tree is that the pigs in a blanket will be room temperature—or just a smidge warmer—when you serve them. You could, of course, create a tree and surround the base with a pile of fresh-from the-oven snacks. Then, roughly mid-party, once everyone's had a drink or two, don't be surprised as people start tearing into the tree. After a drink or two, nobody cares about room temperature.
Another solution: You could let people pluck pigs in a blanket off the tree and serve it with warm dips, like beer cheese or classic queso. It's over-the-top, sure, but probably not any crazier than having a Christmas tree centerpiece made out of pigs in a blanket.
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