When it comes to building a gingerbread house, expectations rarely meet reality. Those prepackaged boxes—and even the photos you see on Pinterest—seem to ensnare you with their soothing siren's calls: Use this paste-like frosting to attach the sides! The gingerbread cookies are as stiff as cardboard anyway, so they make perfect walls! You don't need decorating skills; just plop some gum drops and peppermint rounds in a row!
It's so easy companies often show smiling children putting the dessert-slash-centerpiece together. If a seven-year-old can do it, so can I! We think foolishly. Little do we realize how that 7-year-old can also pull off pigtails and missing her two front teeth in a way our adult selves can't.
Clearly, she possesses talents well beyond our own, which becomes all too apparent the moment the icing comes out in bubbling globs—It's like snow! We reassure ourselves, as we try to wipe away the excess, resulting in a whitish smear on the gingerbread. Nevermind, we'll make that side the backside, we chuckle, as we can't help but wonder if the walls are looking a little more slanted than they were two minutes ago.
Nah, it's just that our dining room table is suddenly off-kilter. Obviously.
The little white lies we tell ourselves pile up, and the whole process starts looking remarkably like this:
On the plus side, if you made the gingerbread yourself, it might make for a nice treat dipped in coffee or hot cocoa. And if you didn't? Obviously, it's the company who made the gingerbread house kit's fault. Their cookie architect must have had one too many spiked eggnogs before creating this floor plan. It's the only logical conclusion.
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