By now, we’ve all heard of “third places,” the places outside our homes (first places) and workplaces (second places) that help foster community and fight social isolation. They’re usually spaces like bars, parks, and cafes where you can casually relax and hang out or... attend “radical workshops?” Boyfriend Co-Op, a new lesbian spot located in Brooklyn, New York, certainly thinks so.
“Coffee, cocktails, the queer thing—that’s what most people focus on about us, but we are first and foremost a leftist space,” says one of the owners, Hena Mustafa. “People assume most queer spaces are, but not always—we really wanted to prioritize marginalized identities [and] make Boyfriend as accessible as possible—give the people what they’re craving.”
This mindset extends into everything they do, from their hiring practices to their ingredient sourcing, from their space and event curation to their co-op business model (more below on that!). There’s truly so much to say—and so much about Boyfriend that’s best experienced in person—but here, I want to highlight some of the things that make this space so special:
The Menu
Both the daytime and nighttime menus are purposefully on the smaller side, and they feel simultaneously elevated and approachable. The high quality of everything on them is apparent, in large part because their commitment to sustainability and low-waste practices means the menus are ever-changing with the seasons (and the whims of the bartenders—everyone gets a say in the menu).
That commitment means they make “Hen’s Homo Hummus,” seasonal soups, and all the syrups for the cocktail menu in-house. It also means being extremely purposeful with their sourced ingredients. Take their “Dirty Marsha,” for example—this play on a dirty martini features Palestinian olive oil-washed vodka. Or their “Sapphic Saffron,” a non-alcoholic shooter, so anyone can get in on the fun of taking shots. They source local bread from a Middle Eastern bakery called Ameer’s in Patterson, New Jersey, import sorrel from a friend of a friend in Egypt, and get their pickles from a company called Al’ard, which is located along Palestine’s West Bank. It’s little things like this that add up to a big impact and contribute to the overall safe-space energy of the entire place.
Mustafa says they're also “hyper-cognizant” of the people who have come before, particularly of their neighbors who have as much autonomy over the area and nearby existing businesses as they do. Boyfriend's location at the busy Myrtle-Broadway intersection in Brooklyn is also home to multiple fast food chains, a micro-grocery store, multiple bodegas, and a handful of coffee shops and bars. “This isn’t just an insular bar; it’s a place to connect outwardly as well,” explains Mustafa. They’re committed to keeping prices as low as they can while prioritizing creativity, but with familiar flavors.
One way they’re doing that this summer is with the limited-edition (starts July 1!) “Holy Trinity,” a play on a Manhattan, which traditionally contains rye whiskey, dry vermouth, and maraschino liqueur. To make Boyfriend’s version, they soak an entire Popeye’s chicken sandwich in the whiskey, Checkers seasoned French fries in the vermouth, and a chocolate donut from Dunkin’ in the Luxardo. The result is a shockingly delicious and booze-forward cocktail that’s like if a Manhattan and a dirty martini had a baby. This drink won’t be around for long, but take it from me—Boyfriend definitely will be.
The Space
From the moody blue-purple walls to the mishmash of secondhand furniture, the vibe inside feels kitschy and cozy, but still modern and fresh. It harkens back to the sexy, sultry spots of the '90s and 2000s—without the underlying misogyny and overt consumerism. Someone once described it to Mustafa as an “auntie’s place in Syria mixed with Sabrina the Teenage Witch’s bedroom,” which encapsulates it perfectly. There is certainly a sense of magic in the air like you can have it all—a cozy space that feels at once like an eclectic queer living room and a place you could bring (or meet!) a date.
The Co-Op
As per their gorgeously retro website, Boyfriend’s “workers own the business, and our workers and customers democratically control the business.” Mustafa and the other owners—Nat Risk, Kacey Liebes, and Mica Fisher—thought a lot about the difficulty of owning a business while also attempting to disrupt capitalism, and the co-op structure was the best way to guarantee their values and actions will always match up.
To get started, they spoke to a variety of other co-ops, gathering resources and eventually creating a code of conduct they now share readily themselves. Employees who work full-time for a year have the opportunity to receive training and then be voted in as a worker-owner. Meanwhile, customers have the opportunity to buy into membership, which grants them access to member-only events, voting rights at strategy and business meetings, and perks such as free coffee.
Want to get involved? Find more information here.
