I'm sorry to report that the latest post on Khloe Kardashian's Khloe With a K app is all about looking "thin AF" in photos. HEAVY SIGH.
As the "fat" sister in my family, I love Khloe on a very deep level, and it's always a bit of a bummer to see her being just as image obsessed as her siblings. I mean, she can't really escape the, uh, culture of her family — remember when they told her to lose weight because she was hurting their brand?! — but I just wish she would fight back against it more. DGAF Khloe is the best Khloe, and it would be so cool if she just flipped the middle finger in the face of all this bullshit body image stuff, too. BUT ALAS! Our culture is poisoned, and she's a part of our culture, and the result is an entire blog entry about not wearing vertical stripes in photos.
And that's the thing! Her tips are shit you've already heard a million times before, anyway!
Here are some of the revolutionary "thin AF" tidbits as:
"Only allow your photographer to shoot from above. It's the only flattering angle," she says. "If they shoot from beneath, you might as well have had like ten cheat days in a row! (Frito pie anyone?)"
I mean, hello. Shooting from above is an age-old trip that's been around since Live Journal. (RIP!!!)
And then there's: "Wear black or vertical stripes. Avoid horizontal stripes and prints if you plan to be within a mile of a camera. They add instant bulk."
And buckle your seat belts for the next one: Good posture! "Make your arms and shoulders werk. Hands on hips," Khloe wrote, with a straight face, I'm assuming. "Bonus points if you angle sideways and use your camera-facing arm. Shoulders back and away from ears. Always."
Not only are these tips stale; they also suck. In response, I'm going to post a bunch of photos from below whilst wearing horizontal stripes and scrunching my shoulders up to my ears. Change starts here! Join me, Khloe! (Or at least stay away from dumb photo "tips," and stick to more wonderful things — like those adorable pregnancy pics from Japan! Too cute!)
