There are certain milestones every baker reaches: Their first order. Their first perfectly formed gum paste rose. Their first insane cake decoration request. A quick scour through Reddit lead us to believe that lewd and wacky ones might actually be as popular as your standard "Happy Birthday." Take a look at the most bizarre orders we came across.
The Daddy's Girl
"My girlfriend works as a cake decorator at a Baskin Robins. This is today's order she has to make." - Reddit user astrosA60
The Micro-Manager
"Literally anything that's too specific. 'I want a two-layer 1/2-sheet cake with vanilla on the bottom and chocolate on the top. I want pastry cream in the middle and strawberries but only one layer of strawberries, I don't want them to overlap. I want chocolate buttercream and a yellow border, and it has to be EXACTLY like the border on THIS CAKE HERE (points to cake in case).'" - Reddit user rexnezzy
The Friends That Went Too Far
"I was working at a fine-dining place and some people were having a party. They wanted us to write 'You are gay' on someone's plate... That was a little too immature for our tastes, so we wrote 'Your friends question your sexuality' instead. It went over well." - anonymous Reddit user
The Bad Speller
"Weirdest thing I've written on a cake to date ... - Reddit user Chefcmerks (Editor's note: We're hoping they misspelled "Sweetie.")
The Guy In The Dog House
"I used to work at Cold Stone as the cake decorator. My two favorites were 'Please forgive me, she didn't mean anything' on a HUGE cake and 'Suck my dick Love, Jimmy.' My boss refused to let me write dick, so it said d***." - Reddit user zoldberg3000
The Hot Head
"'Happy Birthday Jagoff! We all hate you.' on a sheet cake with a panda bear in the middle. We were instructed to put a habanero in the batter directly under the panda as the jagoff in question really likes pandas and would pick that piece for themselves." - Reddit user MrMentallo
The Squirter
"Not a baker, but I requested a cake that said, 'Sorry for getting semen in your eye.' from my local bakery (it's a LONG joke my friend and I have been doing), and they refused. I offered much more than I should have if they put it on (they aren't the best bakery in town), and he still refused. So I bought the cake blank and wrote it on myself." - Reddit user Bacon_Thief
The Cat Lady
"'No dear, I don't want post birth, I want during birth.' In other words, she wanted me to carve a Mummy cat in the midst of giving birth to a kitten — 'half in, half out.' Not only that, she wanted the detail absolutely on point, blood soaked towels, birthing liquids, the lot! I was momentarily speechless, to which she proudly declared, 'You'll have no problem getting all the details right because I will send you a video of my cat giving birth to her litter last week, I filmed it all!'" - somethingaboutcake.com.au
The Pregnancy Craving
"Are you ready for this? Requested was one of those Pregnant Belly Cakes, but it had to actively lactate ... ewwwww ... but since it was for a friend, I did it ... just ran tubing into the nipple, connected to a squeeze ball filled with cornstarch and water ... 'milk' ... that was under and off to the side of the cake platter. When you squeezed it, the fluid flew straight out ... ICK ... Gross, but funny. This is the farthest I will personally go." - Cake Central user MazzyJune
The Virgin No More
"'Congratulations on the sex!' Supposedly for a father wanting to give it to his 20-something daughter for losing her virginity. It was a phone order, and they never picked it up, so who knows how serious they were. They also wanted me to draw genitals and stuff on it — I talked them down to cherries." - Reddit user PeacefulCamisado
Follow Delish on Instagram.
