I shake my head after spending 20 minutes in a staring contest with a bag of Starbursts when it hits me—it's going to be a LONG 30 days. When I first had the idea of trying Whole30, I was coming off an intense holiday season. So many dips, cocktails, 25 days of cookies—I was in serious need of a detox come January. I had read about Whole30, and was intrigued. After an afternoon of browsing recipes online I decided I could do this! So after my birthday on Jan. 4 (and my party on Jan. 8), it was time to take the plunge.
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First, let me quickly spell out the rules of Whole30 for the uninitiated. Whole30 is designed to help you identify foods that have an adverse effect on your body. In order to identify these foods, you must first eliminate them for 30 days to get your body to its "purest" state. This means (according to the official Whole30 website):
• No added sugar of any kind (real or artificial) = no honey, syrup, agave, Splenda, Equal, etc.
• No alcohol in any form, not even for cooking
• No grains = no wheat, rye, barley, oats, corn, rice, millet, bulgur, sorghum, amaranth, buckwheat, sprouted grains, and even quinoa
• No legumes = no beans of all kinds (black, red, pinto, navy, white, kidney, lima, fava, etc.), peas, chickpeas, lentils, and peanuts.
• No soy of any kind = no soy sauce, miso, tofu, tempeh, and edamame
• No dairy = cow, goat or sheep's milk products, which includes cream, cheese, kefir, yogurt, and sour cream (Clarified butter or ghee is the exception.)
You are also not allowed to re-create junk foods with approved ingredients. This is known as Sex With Your Pants On—it might feel good, but it's not the real thing. You also are not allowed to weigh yourself throughout the entire 30 days. The program is not about weight, apparently.
One more caveat before we get to the meat (hehe) of what my diet was like for 30 days. My job is literally food. It's everywhere and all I'm thinking and reading about all day. In fact, here's an incomplete list of foods that were cooked in the Delish kitchen during my time on Whole30, which I saw my coworkers devouring but could not eat:
- Butterbeer Poke Cake
- Edible Cookie Dough
- Sloppy Joe Biscuit Dip
- Reese's Apple Nachos
- Chicken Parm Soup
- Samoa Ice Cream
- Brownie Batter Pancakes
- Football Cheese Ball
- Funfetti Shortbread Bites
- Snickerdoodle Cheesecake Bars
- Boston Cream Pound Cake
- Pizza Mac & Cheese
- Jalapeno Popper Dip
- Pigskin In A Blanket
- Chicken Alfredo Dip
- Buff-a-cue Chicken Tenders
- Slutty Skillet Brownie
- Giant BEC
- Flamin Mac & Cheetos
So yeah, I'd say this was more difficult for me than most people. But as Whole30 literature says, "this diet isn't hard. Beating cancer is hard." And man, that's a tough point to argue.
WEEK 1
Food: I cooked a huge assortment of roasted vegetables to eat for breakfast and as a side all week; a butternut squash & sausage soup that I made up, which was not very good, sadly; baked chicken with lemon and potatoes that was good the first night, but eventually the lemon tasted rancid and ruined the entire dish, and a Whole30-ified version of this Mexican Beef & Rice Skillet with cauliflower rice and no cheese, which was probably my favorite dish of the week.
Then came the weekend. With a friend in town to visit, I knew it was going to be tough. I considered not telling my friends what I was up to because I knew I was opening myself up to ridicule, but alas, they noticed right away. I should have known better. That weekend I ate a varied diet of a baked potato with beef chili, pulled pork tacos and guacamole (with no tortilla), fried eggs, and poached eggs.
One of the toughest moments was when my friends thought it would be HILARIOUS to go to Bubba Gump in Times Square for dinner. Literally, everything in that place is fried in bread-y goodness that I couldn't eat. I made do with a bunless burger topped with guacamole. However, I did bend a Whole30 rule that weekend—I ate French fries. While potatoes of all kinds are technically allowed, fries are known as a trigger food and aren't really on plan. I did ask what they were fried in to make sure they were cooked in a compliant oil, and rationalized that a potato is a potato, so give me an effing fry.
Feelings: I feel empowered on Day 1 that this is going to be super easy. By Day 2, my cravings are intense. I'm coming off a four-Cokes-a-day lifestyle, so I'm definitely fighting a mean sugar headache. I'm tired and irritable and legit have the aforementioned staring contest with a bag of Starbursts. I don't succumb. The headache and grogginess lasts the entire week.
During the weekend, I'm made fun of and my sanity is questioned by people who allegedly care for me. My diet is constantly referred to as a 'bet' by one friend. I watch my friends eat ice cream and pizza in front of me—one of whom exclaimed, "man, there's a TON of Oreos in this," without realizing the emotional turmoil she was causing me. All in all, a great start to the month.
WEEK 2
Food: With my friend in town, I didn't get to meal plan/cook on Sunday, so the week started off with Chipotle. Yes, you can eat Chipotle on Whole30, but it's a very specific/sad order: a carnitas burrito bowl with no rice, lettuce, tomato salsa and guacamole. Back at work, I decided to try the world of smoothies for breakfast. While not encouraged on Whole30 (the plan says drinking a meal, instead of eating it sends a different message to your brain about your hunger), I am not a fruit person in my non-Whole30 life. So I figured some fruit was better than none, and made up a compliant smoothie of blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, avocado and coconut milk. It was life-changing. I drank it on the subway to work and felt amazing by the time I got to the office.
Other meals included a sweet potato chili, which made me believe in a chili without beans, lots of eggs, egg drop soup for breakfast (Gwyneth does it), skirt steak with avocado salsa, and spaghetti squash with meat sauce (which I amped up with some broccoli rice). The toughest day came again when I had to go out in the world and be social. I went to a friend's birthday dinner at a Georgian restaurant that is known for this dish:
I instead ate a dry chicken kebab and some potatoes, and tried not to tear up as everyone delighted in that cheesy, eggy, bread-y amazingness. Another laugh-to-keep-from-crying moment happened when I went to the movies with friends and realized I didn't have time to eat beforehand. Since there is literally nothing Whole30 approved at a movie theater, I made my friends go to a nearby Whole Foods, where I proceeded to buy roasted sweet potatoes and two slices of dry Thanksgiving-style turkey and smuggle them into the theater. Of course, we were seeing a movie literally about the founding of McDonald's. So as I ate my sad turkey and potatoes, all I really wanted was a Quarter Pounder. The guy next to me had to think I was insane.
Feelings: The headaches end about midweek, and I start to notice that I'm sleeping better. I usually stay up way too late on weeknights, and then regret it the next day before the cycle repeats itself. Now I'm falling asleep on my couch at 9:30 pm. I manage to make it to the gym at some point during this week, and I really feel like a superhero afterwards. But it doesn't kick start a gym trend, sadly. It's still a struggle to get out of bed in the morning most days.
WEEK 3
Food: I started the week with an EPIC cooking session. I must have cooked for six hours straight. At the end I was left with pesto egg cups for breakfast, pesto chicken and roasted vegetables, chicken tikka masala with cauliflower rice, a repeat of the Mexican Beef & Rice Skillet with cauliflower rice. The tikka masala was a solid effort but was actually pretty gross. I end up throwing most of it away after persevering through two meals of it. I also bought some frozen Whole30-compliant burgers at Trader Joe's and ate those with roasted potatoes and guacamole. I continue my smoothie streak as well, but by the following Sunday, I'm craving comfort food. I use coconut flour and ghee to make fried chicken and mashed potatoes. It's glorious.
Occupational hazard rears its head when I'm tasked with helping shoot marquees for the Delish homepage. My boss wanted me to take bites of Valentine's Day chocolate and put them back in the box, which meant I had to take bites of chocolate and then instead of eating it, I had to spit it in the trash can. That was my JOB for the day. She eventually took pity on me and did the bites herself #teamwork. Thanks, boss!
Feelings: I'm starting to get super bored with my eating choices. I miss cheese most of all, but Coca-Cola is a close second. I'm also, honestly, pretty lonely. I ended up not doing anything over the weekend because I didn't want to be tempted. I never realized how much of my social life revolved around food, and while it's part of the program to take a look at how food rules your life, I just missed seeing my friends and not being the weirdo with the strange diet. But physically, I'm feeling good. I still have not had that burst of energy Whole30-ers swear will happen, but I continue to be sleeping well and my skin is definitely getting clearer.
WEEK 4
Food: Another Sunday, another cooking session. I also have a lot of leftovers I'm trying to get through. I made some carnitas in the slow-cooker to make carnitas taco lettuce cups; made a delicious frittata that I ate for lunch throughout the week; and then ate some more guacamole burgers, fried chicken and smoothies.
The Friday of this week was Delish's appearance on Good Morning America, where I helped construct a Snack Stadium and I couldn't even taste Magnolia Bakery's banana pudding or a whoopie pie (my legit favorite dessert) 😞. Over the weekend, I stop being a hermit, and attend a Galentine's Day party where the host made a Whole30-approved frittata just for me. I do have some good friends.
It's also the Super Bowl, which was my most-feared day of this entire "journey." I love dip more than most foods, and I knew I'd be super sad to not be able to eat any for the Super Bowl. So I went overboard and made compliant buffalo chicken tenders, "ranch" smashed potatoes, and chili-smothered sweet potato fries with fried eggs. Yes, that meant I was frying eggs in the middle of my friend's huge Super Bowl party, surrounded by strangers. Whole30 really makes you embrace your weirdo status.
Feelings: Whenever anyone asked me how I was feeling this week, the only truthful answer I could muster was SAD. I am so ready for this diet to be over. Perhaps it was all the socializing but I was sick of explaining what I was doing to people, sick of them being amazed at all the things I couldn't eat, and sick of not being able to eat and drink with my friends. That said, my sleep continued to be incredible, my skin was glowing and my clothes started to feel loose. I was tired because of how busy work was, but I was able to power through different tasks and stay super focused. I also became obsessed with planning my meals out since I realized if I didn't keep track, I'd starve.
WEEK 5
Food: Just two more days to go, and I'm in major leftover mode. I finish off my buffalo chicken tenders, chili fries and sweet potato chili. I drink my smoothies—the smoothie guy and I are now friends. I'm also looking into reintroduction. You're apparently supposed to slowly reintroduce categories of foods over 10 days. But 10 days feels like eternity when all you can think is, I need Five Guys STAT.
Feelings: Despite lingering sadness, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. That fact propels me forward, and when I wake up on Day 31, I feel amazing. I decide I'll do a modified reintroduction over five days instead of the prescribed 10. Luckily, none of the forbidden foods seem to have an effect on me. I still feel pretty good as I slowly add foods back into my diet. Thank god.
Conclusion: I have never stuck to a diet like I did for this one. I actually committed to something and followed through, which is a huge deal for me. Despite all my complaining, it was pretty easy, and I did learn a lot about how my body craves food for emotional reasons rather than hunger. Whenever I ate, I could feel that I was eating to fuel myself, not just to pass the time. I will definitely stick to the meal planning aspect of the diet. I've actually come to treasure my Sundays cooking, and now I prefer to know exactly what I'm going to be eating, rather than wondering and making bad choices.
I ended up losing 11 pounds in 30 days. I've never lost weight like that from any kind of lifestyle change. But man, life is too short for such a restrictive diet, especially for a Delish editor. I may have been eating healthier, but my sadness about not being able to enjoy being out with my friends and partaking in treats on the weekend totally outweighed any good feelings I had on the inside.
Should you do Whole30? If you want to see how different foods effect your body, go for it. It's just not a feasible permanent choice for me. But honestly, if I can do it, literally ANYONE can.
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