Going on dates (heck, even finding someone to go out with), these days is hard enough. So what if I told you that how you react to a simple tip prompt at restaurant or bar can determine whether you're going to get a second date?
According to etiquette and dating experts, "Tipflation" (i.e., the rise of tipping opportunities nowadays) might be the reason you didn't another date, after all. Think of it this way: Whether you've noticed it or not, tipping culture in the U.S. has gotten...strange. And that's absolutely carried over to our already very-bizarre dating culture.
It's a perfect storm. Imagine this common scenario: You meet up with someone for a first date at, say, a coffee shop. Your date orders an iced latte (so far, so good). Maybe they ask the barista for oat milk (okay, that's fine). Then they hit the "No Tip" button on the iPad (mayday mayday, conditions have become unlivable).
As the kids would say, being a bad tipper is, for many, a flapping-in-the-wind red flag.
Tipping, as a whole, is an incredibly flawed system and often racially-charged, sexist, and exploitative. But until the day comes where we completely uproot American tipping culture, how we tip says a lot about us, both good and bad. Especially in the early stages of dating, there's an incredible strong magnifying glass focused on all kinds of behavior, tipping absolutely being one of them.
The behavior goes beyond the dinner table, too. If you find yourself to be generous, dining out with a stingy date reflects that you're tolerant of that behavior, nullifying your own values. You are often a reflection of the people you spend the most time with, so any would-be partner's behavior is especially crucial to notice in those early stages. Plus, the lack of generosity (in the form of tipping appropriately) denotes this date may be in possession of other inherently less-than-generous qualities and it shows how they choose to treat others, something you're likely to find out much later. Bad tippers are also, as reported in Eater, a bit mentally twisted, too.
Aside from tipping, it turns out there are plenty of other food and dining dating behaviors that Team Delish have deemed to be cause for alarm:
Team Delish's Red Flags
- Waving down waitstaff.
- Being weird about glassware and drinks in general. We're all for men drinking pink drinks with poise in 2024.
- Making the "Pineapple shouldn't be on pizza" argument (snooze).
- Not sharing fries. Who hurt you?
- Asking for too many substitutions or the extended biography of the heirloom chicken they're ordering.
Of course, there are some green flags, too:
Team Delish's Green Flags
- Ordering items "for the table." In fact, "for the table" is perhaps the most romantic phrase of all.
- Adventurous, "willing-to-try-anything-once" eaters.
- And it goes without saying, tipping appropriately!
As I always say, someone's red flag is another person's green flag. Maybe the thought of someone reaching over to your plate to steal a fry is borderline horrifying. In which case, good for you! We'll agree to disagree—and we'll be hanging out at our own table, with a "Table Pancake" and well-tipped waitstaff, no doubt.
