Despite her love for the zodiac, Delish Digital Director Tess Koman is not a certified astrologer (yet), so please take these predictions with a grain of salt mustard.
There are few things more indicative of who you really are than your star sign... and your sandwich go-to.
Seriously. Sandwiches are infinitely adaptable, allowing everyone a deeply personal fave. And while the choices of vessels and fillings are endless, there are certain combinations that we are drawn to, as it turns out, in a cosmic way. There’s a reason some of us opt for the delicately composed bite of a cucumber sandwich and some of us dive head first into a mustard-drenched bologna sub. I mean, beyond the fact that cukes are one of the most refreshing ingredients on this planet and bright yellow mustard (hello, French’s!) holds a super special, incredibly nostalgic place in a lot of our hearts.
All this to say? Tell me your star sign and I can look deeply into your soul and provide a “deeply scientific” and very correct analysis of how your sign’s signature traits translate into sandwich form. (In other words, don’t be surprised if your lifelong fave sandwich is called out, or if this helps you identify The One.)
Capricorn: eggplant parm
There’s nobody who can handle juggling it all quite like you. You’re able to parse expectations from realities without being disappointed—in fact, you’re so grounded that you, unlike others, are able to be in a moment, making you the world’s biggest eggplant parm fan. Drippy red sauce? A delight, not an inconvenience! More cheese than is necessary? A joy, not a pain.
Aquarius: grilled cheese
Above all else, you wish to soothe. No matter the situation or the people involved, your desire to heal is universal. What else could you be besides a grilled cheese? There’s a twist on it for everyone, but the common denominator is good-for-the-soul flavor: lush cheese, French’s classic sharp mustard, sweet butter, crunchy bread. Excited for you to achieve world peace one day, TBH.
Pisces: Italian sub
Are your eyes bigger than your stomach? Sure, but that’s why you’re loved. Your willingness to tackle obstacles all at once is what enables you to make quick work of this cold-cut hero (pun intended). Nobody can take on sweet, salty, acid, and chewy like you can.
Aries: French dip
You, Aries, are a boss. You opened this piece and knew very well you and a French dip were fated to be matched with an equally bold, boss of a sandwich. The activity involved with this masterful masterpiece! The layered onion and bold mustard flavoring, courtesy of French’s, that goes into it! Psh.
Taurus: cucumber sandwich
You search for serene where others see chaos. I am willing to bet you also eat your cucumber sandwich slowly and with impeccable table manners. That must be nice.
Gemini: sloppy joe
We get it. You’ve got a lot going on. But that doesn’t mean you’re ready or willing to compromise on quality. Others look at a sloppy joe and see a mess. You look at a Sloppy Joe and see nothing but opportunity for sweet-and-spicy flavor and a luxurious lunchtime experience to the face.
Cancer: turkey club
Your desire for order—both tangible and otherwise—overshadows most else, but that’s not a bad thing. The layers of a club (precise, equal, identical ingredients in every bite) is soothing as all heck. Do it, dude! Self-soothe via sandwich. We have no choice but to stan!
Leo: corned beef
Every Leo who found herself here knew very well what was coming: a show-stopper of a sandwich that requires both hands, your full attention, and does it all with just rye bread, luscious meat, and French’s bright yellow mustard that adds just the right tang? That is commands-a-crowd-just-being-who-she-is queen behavior.
Virgo: bacon, egg, and cheese
It takes time to perfect a BEC. Virgos are dedicated people, here to improve things for the long haul. Will they spend months figuring out the perfect bread-to-stuffing ratio here? Bet on it.
Libra: bánh mì
A Libra seeks symmetry and balance in all facets of her life. If you think that doesn’t apply to food, you’re sorely mistaken. A bánh mì’s precisely composed layers of flavor, texture, and color? An air sign’s dream.
Scorpio: fried bologna
The most misunderstood sign of the zodiac, the Scorpio tends to focus on her unrecognized power rather than how to best put that power out there into the world. I’m not saying a Scorpio sees a sandwich soulmate—sees herself—in a frequently overlooked, fantastically mustard-drenched bologna sub, but I’m not not saying that.
Sagittarius: cheesesteak
Sags are always after an experience. They want to revel in something and then tell you all about it. Can you blame them? And you know what’s a real experience? A sandwich with melty cheese sauce at strategic intervals. Try it! It works every time.
