I don't mean to brag, but I've always been phenomenal at bringing home gifts from vacations. For my dad? A vat of the spiciest local condiment I can find. For my mom? A jug of the region's best olive oil. For my friends? Candy. All the chocolate-y, chewy, can't-find-it-anywhere-near-here-y candy. Again, I don't mean to brag, but they're all always obsessed with whatever treat makes it back home to them. They think of my gorgeous face each time they drizzle some finishing oil over over their dish. They feel my love for them each time they snack on a crazy international concoction after their sad desk lunches.
Listen. Any time you go away and think of someone else enough to bring anything back for them, it's very sweet and they're going to be flattered. But when you bring back, say, a plastic shot glass or a stringy keychain, they are going to "aw" for a second and then put that shit in a drawer. A snow globe is great, if you know an avid snow globe collector who lords over her collection each night, revisiting memories and dusting incessantly. Otherwise, I repeat, that shit's going on a shelf no one ever peeks up at. All of this is to say that if you're going to be a person who's nice enough to bring home souvenirs for people you love from vacation, make them edible ones.
That 12-pack of legit French bon-bons you bring to work straight from Paris might not last nearly as long as the postcards you were considering, but will your colleagues look at you on a rainy Thursday seven months from now and go, "You know what I could kill for? One of those useless pieces of blank mail you brought back that one time?" No. They'll remember the chocolate. They'll crave it again. They'll look back fondly on the week after vacation when you were well-rested and nice to them. Food yields sweet memories. Bring them food!
PLAN A TRIP tripadvisor.com
And, OK, fine. Forget other people. Bring back something for yourself. Did I bring home some of the insaaane egg custards I just had in Lisbon for my co-worker when she asked? No, I totally told her they wouldn't travel well, but I bought myself a whole bunch and stuck them in the freezer as soon as I got home.
You know what else I bought for myself on vacation? Nothing. Just those super cheap and delicious custards. Now I can have a bite of vacation whenever I want, even though I don't have a piece of Portuguese clothing I'll hate in a year or a cheap piece of airport tile I know in my heart I will never use even as I buy it.
Just food. Just love! Just a mad co-worker. But not yours—yours will be thrilled. Those French bon-bons you brought back were the best thing they've ever eaten. So nice.
