Did you notice that while HBO said it was a craft services coffee cup chilling in the middle of episode four's most pivotal scene, Starbucks didn't refute the internet's insistence that it was a classic Bux cup? I did. That's why I'm doubling down on my theory that there's been fast food in Westeros all along. A lot of it. And it's all pivotal to how this shit's gonna wrap up on Sunday.
*SPOILERS BELOW*
Daenerys walks into King's Landing's only Dunkin', having officially tired of Starbucks' slow but steady encroachment on each corner of the seven kingdoms. Frustrated and under-caffeinated, she sends Grey Worm forth to order her a latte an herbal tea and is appalled, nay distraught, to hear she'll have to go elsewhere to get what she wants.
"I, Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the—you know what? No. Dracarys."
Starbucks maintains their monopoly over all the lands.
King's Landing's only Chipotle, half-destroyed but still the city's best source of guac, hangs a plaque on their remaining wall in honor of Cersei Lannister. She is, after all, the only person to consistently order a daily margarita at 10 a.m. for the past 10 years in a row. It doesn't matter that Chipotle didn't start serving booze until noon. She insisted. And, dear god, did the employees obey.
Grey Worm still searches for something to make Dany happy. It's the only thing he has left. He finds himself at Chipotle, spear in hand, staring the plaque down.
RIP all King's Landing Chipotle employees.
Having left without any food, alcohol, or anything, Grey Worm lands at Taco Bell. Jon Snow is in the corner taking methodical bites of a Fiery Doritos Locos Tacos Supreme. "I love her, I love her not," he mutters, choking down each bite remorsefully. Halfway through, he finds himself paralyzed: "I want it...I want it not," bite, bite. Swallow, swallow. "I...I want it." He stares down at his red powdered-coated fingertips. "I want it."
Grey Worm surreptitiously raises his spear. It's not worth it, he thinks. Not now. Not yet. Onward.
At a McDonald's on the outskirts of the city, Arya Stark kicks through Golden Company armor, looking for nothing more than to dispense herself a McFlurry and be on her way. She has to kill...the queen. A little cold and sugar will help.
Euron Greyjoy, the man who did not kill Jamie Lannister (that man was named "Rocks," lol remember?) has somehow managed to lunge his way into the establishment, bleeding all over the floor and going on about impregnating queens. She just wants a fucking McFlurry. She has her horse friend clomp him in the face.
McFlurry in hand, she heads north. She'll be ready and waiting when...the queen arrives.
In a fit of "I told you sos," Sansa rectifies a throne in the north's most prestigious IHOP (they serve lemon (pan)cakes, you guys). She'll rule from there until word comes from Jon. Or Arya. Or Bran? Bran won't set foot in the IHOP but has begun making requests for vats of syrup from time to time. Who knows. She just makes sure he gets it.
A week into her IHOP reign, Arya gallops into the restaurant, the blood of Euron Greyjoy still affixed to her horse's foot. The sisters embrace and have a cautious meal over breakfast potatoes and, yeah, lemon (pan)cakes. Jon may be lost to them forever, but there's still more to be done.
A week after that, Arya murders Dany (and probably Grey Worm, IDK) right in the entrance of the IHOP. She was waiting. She was ready. Dany never did get her herbal tea.
