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16 Holiday Cookies Everyone Secretly Hates

These aren't getting you invited back to any cookie swap.

Headshot of Hannah DoolinBy Hannah Doolin
gingerbread men

Nothing puts us in the holiday spirit more than whipping up all varieties of Christmas cookies. The best homemade recipes are worth eating by the dozen until you begin to resemble Santa himself, but certain holiday treats are definitely inferior to the rest. What can we say? That's just how the cookie crumbles.

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Jam Thumbprints

thumbprint cookies

Do thumbprint cookies look festive? Sure! But that sticky jam filling just can't provide the same bliss that a swoosh of silky frosting can. It's like your grandma is trying to pass off toast as dessert.

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Crinkle Cookies

chocolate crinkle cookies

We don't quite understand the appeal of crinkle cookies. They often have a few sad cracks instead of looking like the pretty, crackly versions you've seen on Pinterest and the powdered sugar topping doesn't do much for the flavor.

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Shortbread

shortbread cookies

Shortbread is a fine accompaniment to a cup of tea, but if we're talking Christmas cookies, you've got to admit that this classic is a little weak. When it comes to festive baking, don't be half-hearted about it!

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Florentines

florentine cookies

The lacey edges and layer of chocolate on these thin cookies definitely make them look tasty, but when you first take a bite it's easy to fall out of love. The candied orange peel in them reminds us too much of fruitcake and while they're meant to be chewy, they usually end up too sticky to handle.

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Snowball Cookies

snowball cookies

So after you've taken a bite and gotten powdered sugar all over your fingers, face and sweater — or been nearly suffocated by inhaling it — all you get is a crumbly nut-filled center? Snowball cookies just aren't worth it.

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Molasses Cookies

molasses cookies

I'm sorry, is this Little House on the Prairie? Did we run out of our sugar ration for the winter? Okay then, let's nix the cookies that taste like tar.

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Pignoli Cookies

pignoli cookies
VEGAR ABELSNES PHOTOGRAPHY / GETTY IMAGES

Italian families will stand by these classic sweets until the end, but these mildly sweet, nut-studded cookies just can't stand up to other more festive options in the holiday dessert spread.

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Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

oatmeal raisin cookies

When it comes to cookie mix-ins we're all about chocolate chips, sprinkles and even the occasional nuts, but dried fruit need not apply. Plus, oatmeal cookies taste like breakfast, not dessert.

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Biscotti

biscotti

These are lovely for dipping in coffee, but they're tough to bite into and more closely resemble a cracker or biscuit than a cookie. Bottom line: Biscotti just don't belong in any holiday gift basket.

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Spritz Cookies

spritz cookies

Dry, crumbly and bland. They're like that one weird uncle everyone hopes won't show up to Christmas dinner ... but he always does anyway. Plus, who's got space in their kitchen for a cookie press?

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Cinnamon Stars

Cinnamon Stars

These classic German treats are pretty, but honestly just too healthy to deserve a spot in our holiday rotation. We want our cookies sweet enough to give us a toothache.

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Candy Cane Cookies

Candy Cane Cookies
Flickr Creative Commons / Heather Katsoulis

These never quite turn out the way Pinterest would have you believe, and instead you're left with awkward twists that look like a child's Play Doh project

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Sugar Cookie Cutouts

sugar cookies

Cheerful shapes and some sprinkles aren't enough to make plain sugar cookies stand out. They're basically blank canvases, so why not jazz it up with icing and candy toppers?

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Gingerbread Cookies

gingerbread men

A little family of cleverly decorated gingerbread men (and women) is definitely cute ... but not quite cute enough to eat. The weirdly spicy combination of ginger, nutmeg and cloves is an acquired taste best used to build gingerbread houses.

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Slice-and-Bake Cookies

slice and bake cookies
Flickr Creative Commons / rfduck

Store-bought cookies are already a bit of a cop out already, so the least you could do is get some decent looking ones. The holiday-edition tubes of slice-and-bake cookies give you a choice between sad snowmen, droopy Christmas trees or very manic looking reindeer. Yikes.

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Stained Glass Cookies

stained glass cookies
Flickr Creative Commons/Gerwin Sturm

There are so many awesome sugar cookie hacks out there, so make sure to skip this one, which involves melting Jolly Ranchers in the middle of sugar cookies. The effect can be cool, but you're more than likely to chip a tooth trying to chow down on one.

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