There is a lot of debate when it comes to hot dog toppings—is ketchup acceptable? Are you a yellow mustard purist?? Full spear, relish, or no pickles at all??? But now, the internet is beefing over something more, well, fundamental: how to actually cook the hot dogs to begin with.
On Instagram, we asked: “How do you like your hot dog?” and the answers ranged from on a sliding scale from one, a.k.a.“straight out of the pack,” to “lightly toasted,” “Goldilocks glizzy: just perfect,” “crispy and shriveled,” and finally number five, "charred into oblivion." The consensus? A lot more unhinged than we would've expected with almost everyone arguing in favor of "crispy and shriveled" and "charred into oblivion"—or somewhere in-between.
"A good 4.35," one person wrote. "4/5. Soft bun, smothered in ketchup, spicy mustard and Castleberry’s hot dog chili sauce!!!!" another said. Others simply chimed in, "5😍," "5 with spicy mustard!" and "4.5 please 🌭." One glizzy fan (with questionable judgment) even wrote, "6💀>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>." That's an, um, choice.
In the other direction, an IG user said they like theirs "straight outta [the] pack," which someone else called "sinister activity 😂😭" in the comment section.
"First mistake. Hot dogs don't belong anywhere near a braai (barbecue). Ever. So, these are all wrong," another added. "Obviously boiled is the only correct answer ...." a second agreed.
No matter where you fall on the spectrum, can we at least agree that putting mayo on a hot dog should be...banned/illegal/result in life in prison?? Because that's way more offensive to me than burning your glizzy to smithereens. Apparently, one-third of the population thinks it's totally acceptable normal behavior, and we NEED to do something about it.
