A soon-to-be newlywed has taken to the internet to make sure she isn't being a bridezilla about her wedding food. But the jury's still out.
In a WIBTA ("would I be the a-hole") post on Reddit, a 32-year-old bride opened up about her parents' outrage after she decided to serve only vegetarian options at her wedding. She says that she and her fiancé are "pretty relaxed vegetarians" and "don't mind" if their friends and family members eat meat or fish in front of them, she goes on to say they chose an exclusively vegetarian menu for their reception.
"On looking at the choices, and given it's our day, we thought it would be nice to have a fully vegetarian menu. My (32F) parents are paying for the meal and have been absolutely stunned by this choice," she wrote in the thread. "They say it's disrespectful to people who aren't in the vegetarian culture, and also disrespectful to our own values in terms of ensuring our friends have a nice time. They say it's forcing our ethics on other people."
While the couple feels it's "one meal only" on their day—and their friends have never complained when dining at their house—her parents still feel that guests expect a menu of luxury food.
"Apparently this needs to include meat," she added. "Personally I don't mind that much if our guests eat meat but it is inconsistent with our own life choices and it is our day, so that could make it feel inauthentic. And I think the whole focus on meat thing is quite generational (my parents are in their 60s)."
"My fiancé agrees with me but the issue is my parents are (very kindly) paying for the meal. WIBTA if I got everyone only vegetarian food?"
Reddit users were pretty split down the middle on the conversation. While several argued that offering a veggie menu does not translate to pushing a vegetarian agenda—"If you offered chicken would you be 'pushing chicken onto people?'" one person wrote—others noted how difficult vegetarian options can be for those with allergies.
"It's one thing to have steak/chicken/fish with sides, where part of the meal may be inedible by a guest due to allergies (and easily left off by the caterers or avoided if buffet), but another to serve a beautiful vegetarian dish, which I find tend to have more of a blend of ingredients as the 'main' part of the dish, or an allergen more 'hidden' in the recipe than steak w/ potato and broccolini for example," another user pointed out.
Is It Okay To Only Serve Vegetarian Food At Your Wedding?
So...what is the etiquette here? We tapped celebrity event planner Yana D to answer the Reddit bride's question once and for all.
Yana argues you should "absolutely not" stick with a vegetarian-only wedding menu. "A good approach is to offer a variety of options, including vegetarian, vegan, and gluten free choices," she tells Delish.
"While vegetarian dishes can sometimes be more accommodating for certain allergies, they can also pose challenges. Many vegetarian dishes use nuts, soy, or gluten, which are common allergens. It’s important to have clear labeling and options for guests with these allergies."
However, despite the stance, Yana maintains that it's ultimately about the bride and groom's desires. Not everyone else's.
"Is it rational for guests to be upset [if there are only vegetarian options]? People can have different reactions based on personal preferences or dietary habits," she says. "It’s important to remember that it’s your wedding, and your choices should reflect your values and preferences. However, ensuring there are satisfying and diverse options can help mitigate disappointment."
When it comes to wedding menu etiquette, Yana adds that you should consider your guests, while also balancing budget and quality, maintaining a theme and personal touches.
And while some guests might expect a meat option, simply "communicating your menu choice in advance can help manage expectations," she points out.
