If you ask just about anyone where Santa Claus lives, you'll immediately get the answer: the North Pole, duh. Even toddlers look at you incredulously for even asking such a basic question (like, what's next—you're going to ask me what color Dora the Explorer's shirt is, you cotton-headed ninny muggins?). But, until now, most people haven't known the exact address—or taken a tour inside—unless you count what you've seen in the Santa Clause movies or those Rankin/Bass stop-motion movies from the '60s.
Zillow, the home listings website, has decided to clear things up for everyone, posting a full tour and listing for Jolly Old Saint Nick's abode, which they estimate being worth $656,957. The three-bedroom, two-bathroom log cabin sits on a sprawling 25 acres, providing plenty of room for the reindeer to roam, but the most impressive feature—hands down—is how the brand's imagined Claus's kitchen.
The oven has 12 different cookie settings, though what, exactly, those are and how they work is unclear. One key feature, the site notes, is the kitchen's oven-to-table layout, so the Kringles hardly have to wait a second—other than the standard 5- to 10-minute cooling time—to enjoy a fresh-baked treat.
It's worth noting that Claus seems to be a Kitchenaid fan, featuring a bright red stand mixer prominently on the kitchen table. Other baking must-haves? A rolling pin, red oven mitt, red timer, red scale—for more accurately measuring out the dry ingredients, of course—and clear glass cookie jars, so you always know how close you are to empty.
Zillow features a full gallery of every room of the house, as well as a video tour that lets you virtually "walk" through the whole thing, from all three bedrooms (which raises the question: Who else sleeps there, particularly in those bunk beds?!) to St. Nick's office, which seems partially inspired by Pottery Barn, partially inspired by Dolly Parton in A Smoky Mountain Christmas. See for yourself.
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