We're not breaking new ground when say the best part of Thanksgiving is the food — or that the worst part is the number of dishes that inevitably accrue. And since food comas usually threaten to strike an hour or so after eating, it's tempting to get started on dishes before guests depart — but is that rude? We went to our experts to get to the bottom of Turkey Day's trickiest etiquette question.
"It depends on your family's culture," says Lizzie Post, an etiquette expert at The Emily Post Institute. "But I've never felt put out or like someone wasn't taking care of me as a guest when my host has encouraged people to start cleaning up or put the food away." In fact, Post says her mom puts out a bucket of soapy water for people to put their dishes in to start the process, without pulling out the scrubby brush.
However, Myka Meier, founder and director of Beaumont Etiquette, says when it comes to pitching in, her general rule of thumb is a hard "no" for non-family members. "Guests may be polite enough to offer to help you cleanup after a dinner party, however a gracious host should avoid accepting their offers, as you are the host and simply want them to have a relaxing, enjoyable time," she says.
The one thing Post says is rude? "When washing dishes takes up so much of your time that dessert is delayed," she says. Our editors shared the same sentiments: "With family, I feel comfortable doing dishes because, we're all usually hanging in the kitchen munching, cooking, and cleaning most of the day anyway," says features editor, Asher Fogle. "But if it's a lot of non-family members, I say wait. You don't want to miss the time with them!"
After all, Thanksgiving is supposed to be about spending time with you loved ones — not the pumpkin pie (though that's definitely a perk).
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