Adam Driver guest hosted Saturday Night Live this weekend, and the variety show's obsession with Heinz condiments lived on following Will Ferrell's viral NSFW sketch about ketchup bottles.

With the holidays behind us, SNL turned its attention to an age-old question: How do diners go about refilling empty condiment bottles? What I can tell you is that it requires a bit more imagination than you likely thought.

To get to the bottom of things, the show transports us to Lily's Diner. Manager Marge (Aidy Bryant) asks waitress Geraldine (Heidi Gardner) to close on her own because it's trivia night.

"Before you go, could you marry the half-used half-used ketchups together so they look full?" Marge asked Geraldine.

After Marge walks off, Geraldine pushes two bottles of Heinz ketchup together, and they magically come to life.

The first Heinz ketchup bottle is named Wanda (Cecily Strong), and today is her wedding with a second bottle named Windermere (Driver). Wanda and Windermere are dressed in a wedding veil and tuxedo bow, and all of their condiment cousins are assembled in pews.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Wanda attempts to call things off with Windermere by revealing that she doesn't actually love him. Ouch!

Windermere tries to ease Wanda's fears by insisting that she's just getting "cold bottom of the bottle."

"Can't you see?" she replies. "I'm not like you."

"Wanda, I know you're only a quarter full, and I'm three-quarters full," Windermere acknowledges. "But together, it won't matter. We'll just be one full ketchup."

"No, we won't," Wanda says as she removes her label, revealing that it's a fake. "Because I'm not ketchup at all. I'm catsup."

"You're telling me that I've been galavanting around town with some cheap off-brand generic ketchup?" Windermere asks, prompting Wanda to slap him across the face.

"Don't you dare!" she yells. "You're not even Heinz! You dirty Hunt!"

Omigod, Wanda. That's so relatable! I don't think I could ever date someone who preferred Hunts over Heinz.

Wanda then reveals that she's met someone else, and his name is ... Cholula.

"Hot sauce?" a shocked Windermere asks. "You're choosing hot sauce over ketchup?"

"Wake up! It's 2023! No one wastes precious calories on ketchup anymore," a woke Wanda responds. "They want spice! They want a peppery tang! They want to feel alive for once in their goddam life!"

But of course this sets the stage for a series of awkward sex jokes told from the perspectives of condiment bottles.

"Unlike some people, he doesn't need me to slap him in the back just so he can perform," Wanda tells Windermere as she compares her sexcapades with both lovers.

As it turns out, Cholula is Wanda's baby daddy. And condiments that come in glass bottles apparently start off life packet-sized.

The news prompts Windermere to disclose that he has also cheated, telling Wanda: "I don't relish telling you this, but vinegar and I double-teamed an order of fish and chips."

"I know I went through your phone and looked at the photos," she says knowingly. "It looked delicious."

In the end, this wild ride was all the figment of waitress Geraldine's imagination, who took Marge's order to wed the bottles very literally. Alas, the world may never know how ketchup bottles are actually wed.