Taylor Swift's "You Need To Calm Down" music video has me (and the entire internet) very un-calm for *a lot* of reasons. And while, sure, the kick-ass message, iconic celeb cameos, and that epic Katy Perry reunion are great and all, it's the cotton candy champagne slushee I can't stop thinking about—among many other amazing food moments. Here are all the best ones I'm on a mission to recreate, asap.
So the video opens with what appears to be the breakfast of champions: Cheerios, Skittles, and pink champagne. Swift wakes up in a pastel trailer and sings, "You are somebody that I don’t know, but you’re taking shots at me like it’s Patron, and I’m just like...damn."
It kinda looks like she's on one of those trendy liquid diets, because Tay skips the cereal and opts for a cotton candy and champagne smoothie, which I MUST get the recipe for. Like, ASAP. Have your people call mine T, k? Thanks.
Though her breakfast prep caused a mess (i.e. a legit kitchen fire), Taylor has bigger things to worry about. She strolls off, cocktail in hand, as her trailer burns down.
I mean, these things happen. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
...Then she does some more drinking, this time in the pool. "You need to calm down," she croons. "You're being too loud."
Ok, here's where things get great. Swift has a tea party with the entire cast of Queer Eye. The show's resident style guru, Tan France, pours a perfect stream straight from the kettle (prob because he's British), and then they all quite literally sip the tea. "You just need to take several seats and then try to restore the peace," she sings. "And control your urges to scream about all the people you hate." Solid advice.
Antoni also seductively eats a Milano (?) cookie.
Absolute legend Adam Rippon manned a snow cone stand and Swift busted out her best lyric of the entire song, "Shade never made anyone less gay." CC: all homophobic trolls.
Andddddd *cue the cake fight*
Now, it's finally the moment we've been waiting for. Amidst the pastry brawl, which looks pretty fun, tbh, a sad Taylor Swift (dressed as French fries) locks eyes with a sad Katy Perry (dressed like a burger...again).
THE REUNION. THE REUNION IS HERE.
"You need to just stop (can you stop?) Like can you just not step on our gowns?" Swift continues. "You need to calm down."
But, like, seriously I want that champagne cotton candy smoothie recipe.
