On Thursday, The New York Times had the audacity publish a bold-faced lie (yes, that's what we're choosing to call their opinion) by claiming Aperol Spritz is "not a good drink." Frankly, I'm appalled anyone in their right mind could slander this sweet, beautiful, innocent Italian apertif cocktail—and I'm taking it personally.

"Served in branded, jumbo wine glasses, the sugary apéritif is paired with low-quality prosecco, soda water and an outsize orange slice, resulting in something that drinks like a Capri Sun after soccer practice on a hot day. Not in a good way," the writer, Rebekah Peppler said in the NYT. WELL Rebekah, I'd have to say I respectfully (or, um, maybe not so respectfully) disagree.

"The Aperol spritz isn't actually good," she continues, taking particular offense with cheap prosecco. What's wrong with a good Aldi bubbly, huh Rebekah!? Some of us are balling on a budget.

While clearly I have a bone to pick with Ms. Peppler, she does seem to know her stuff. For one, she received a James Beard nomination for her book Apértifi: Cocktail Hour the French Way. Which is, um, a lot more than I can say for myself. She's also written for the NYT, Bon Appetit, Real Simple, Rachael Ray Magazine, and more. But resume aside, I—along with the entire internet—cannot stand for her Spritz takedown.

Buzzfeed News editor Alberto Nardelli called Peppler's anti-Aperol stance "the worst opinion of 2019," while writer and podcaster Bridget Todd went IN. "The New York Times was wrong about the Iraq war and wrong about the Aperol Spritz," she tweeted. "HOW ELSE ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO CONVEY TO PEOPLE THAT YOU SPEND YOUR SUMMERS IN EUROPE IF NOT BY ORDERING AN APEROL SPRITZ??"

MyRecipes editor Margaret Eby just wants us all to leave Capri Sun out of the narrative. "Some people like an Aperol Spritz, other people don't like an Aperol Spritz, but I think we can all agree that to besmirch the good name of Capri Sun is going too far," she chimed in.

Here are more (correct) reactions:

And while Nigella Lawson did jump to defend the New York Times—"Why would anyone have a Tizer-like Aperol Spritz when you could have a Campari Soda or even an Americano?" she said—I refuse to listen to anyone that doesn't agree with me. I will drink my Aperol Spritz and plug my ears.