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- I'm, for no reason at all whatsoever, just gonna eat my way through Disneyland today. I am armed with antacids because this is gonna be a heartburn-inducing journey. Stay tuned I guess. I might die. This gorgeous and thick dill pickle is just, is a thing of beauty. It's also really cold! And then I have like pickle brain freeze. It tastes like my childhood. I don't know why my childhood tastes like pickles, but it's so good. We're going to get a churro at the castle which is like the pinnacle of Disney food. (upbeat music) There's cinnamon up my nose. It's really good though. This tastes like if you housed a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch but like heated it up first and then ate it on a 100 degree day. Highly recommend. I'm about to eat grey stuff of Beauty and the Beast grey stuff fame. - Try the grey stuff, it's delicious! (dramatic music) - This is the grey stuff twist. A little unclear as to what's happening here. I just feel the urge to smell it 'cause it doesn't look so nice. This is like if you dipped undercooked Pillsbury dough that you rolled in Oreos into, like, pudding. It's not a bad thing. I'm just gonna chase that grey stuff with a little red rose lemonade freeze which is so much prettier than anything I've ever seen. We're walking into Adventureland at this little tiki stand behind me is the home of the famous pineapple dole whip, which is what we're gonna do right now. (upbeat music) This is like so famous. Feel like in the presence of a celebrity. I don't even wanna eat it with a spoon I just wanna go, like, right in. Oh, it's so good! Eat it on every 90 degree day for the rest of my life. Despite the fact that I feel vaguely like vomiting (laughs) we are going to order a Mickey Mouse pretzel right now. (exciting music) If you can just hold on for a minute, there is a band so rudely interrupting my gluttonous Disney eating. No, I'm just kidding, it's like magical and great. (band playing) If I vomit, will you include it in the video? (laughs) We just got a three pack of Mickey beignets. Insider tip, I'm told, in order to evenly distribute the sugar, because god forbid that shouldn't be the case, we've gotta shake up the whole bag. They're really cute! (soft cheerful music) I would just like to start by saying this is burning hot. Just absolutely something that should not exist in this Park at this point in time. Anyway, he's powdery, sugary, and delicious, and I really do love him. He's also hot as (beep). (disgruntled noise) So we're here, about to get creamy clam chowder in a sourdough bread bowl because even on a day like today I'm told it's a must have here in Disney. It's uh, it's looking pretty dense in there. (exciting music) It's so good. It tastes like bacon and cream and all the things a good New England clam chowder should taste like. Can I please the Mickey ice cream sandwich? (exciting dramatic music) It's so great. It's like an ice cream sandwich but it is lodged in between my every tooth. Can I just get one corn dog please? (exciting music) I don't mean to be dramatic and I also have no gauge for the normal width of a corn dog, the girth on this feels very large. That's dirty, I shouldn't say that at Disney. Can you look away? It doesn't feel right to make direct eye contact while I'm doing this, but. (dramatic music) Can I please have one of the Minnie ears candy apples? I'm told you can't come to Disneyland and not have a candy apple. Not only is this extremely heavy but I already found sprinkles up my nose and I haven't even taken a bite yet. Oh, God. I just tried to sink my teeth through many layers of miscellaneous sweet things and I literally couldn't even get to the apple. I got it! Sticky. And sweet! So, straight off that candy apple debacle, we're gonna go eat a Matterhorn macaron which has some kind of like candy snow type thing and coconuts and whatever. And sounds sweet. (dramatic music) We came here with the intention of only walking away with a Matterhorn macaron, which by the way, is extremely heavy, and also looks like if my mom set Rosh Hashanah on fire. - [Person recording] What did you just say? - I said it looks a little bit like if my mom just like melted Rosh Hashanah. (laughs) Do you know what I'm talking about? She's gonna see this, she won't be happy, it's fine. There's super dense coconut to the face. It tastes like Passover, not Rosh Hashanah. Yet another thing that's like all over me the second I take a bite. (dramatic music) So now, now that we're deep into this Disney dive, I feel like I've realized that the best way to get into these is just to like bite from the top, so I might do that, no matter how ridiculous it looks. Oh, that wasn't good. Instead of like when you split the Oreo in half and you eat each half, that's like when you just go right in and it's just too much. Look at that. That's, oh my god, what's in the middle? Lemon curd? Passion fruit? Yes, it is a known thing that unicorns poop passion fruit flavor, so that makes sense. So I know I said I was only going to stick to Disneyland and eat everything there, but Pixar food, how could I possibly resist? (upbeat electronic music) Tastes radioactive. I mean, it literally tastes like it looks. (electronic music) This cookie is so large and deep, it's like a little intimidating from the outside. I'm ready to make a mess with it. It's like if a deep dish pizza were a cookie. It's so rich. (laughs) This is like a one and done kind of deal. I mean, probably not, I'll eat more, but like, mm. All right, need a quick protein break. I don't know that I have it in me, the giant turkey leg, so here we are. It's like spicy and super meaty. I've honestly never felt less attractive in my whole life than I was just taking a bite of that chicken leg right now. If it were two a.m. and I could choose anything to eat in the entire world, this would be it. - [Person recording] You need to address that. - I'm quite literally dripping all the things, but chicken juice included. I don't care. I don't care. (Mariachi music) This is it, we've made it to the end. I'm just gonna have Senor Buzz churro and then I'm probably gonna die. It smells as scary as it looks, like if you melted down a million Red Hots and then just like coated a churro in them, I guess. I'm scared I'm gonna have an ulcer. Oh, god! That hits you in the back. I thought I was fine and now I'm not. It tastes like Red Hots. So at this point in time, I have eaten just about everything there is to eat here. I have the battle scars in the form of chicken juice to prove it. I'm just gonna go lay down somewhere. Maybe on a ride. Maybe right here in this street. (laughs) I don't know! (Mariachi music)

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