Listen. Before you launch into me with some shtick about there being no "wrong" way to eat chocolate, allow me this: All that's to come in the next few hundred words only serves to help you enjoy your chocolate even more than you already do! So, yes, in that sense, you can be eating your chocolate "wrong." But, fine, if you'd rather, we can scrap the whole "wrong" thing and go with...7 Ways To Eat Your Chocolate So That It Is The Ideal Texture, Temperature, And Preparedness To Ensure You Enjoy It In A Way You've Never Enjoyed Chocolate Before." Up 2 u.
Firstly, you don't have to keep it in the fridge.
It's not essential to the actual perishableness of the chocolate. Secondly, it's gonna make the below steps you should be taking to have the best, fullest chocolate experience a lot more time-consuming, so.
You're not rubbing it first.
Yeah, I said "rubbing." According to Vosges Haut-Chocolat, a luxury chocolate boutique based in Chicago, you should be pressing your thumb to your chocolate ahead of eating it. That not only softens it up a bit, but it also releases some of the chocolate's natural aromas, which is important because...
You're eating it without smelling it first.
In fact, this may very well be the biggest mistake you're making. Nadège Piller of the Swiss La Maison Cailler told National Geographic the biggest mistake she sees chocolate-eating people make (and she sees chocolate-eating people all day, every day) "is that they don’t look at it or smell it—they just pop it in their mouth.”
In fact, some people think smelling chocolate is similar to smelling wine. There's a bouquet that hits you before you eat it that prepares you for the actual bite more than you'd think. That bouquet can be vanilla-y, caramel-y, coffee-y, malt-y, or just about anything else you can imagine. If the first smell that hits you is "chocolate," keep sniffing. You'll get there.
You're not breaking it into pieces first.
Just like rubbing all up on your chocolate, this serves to release all the natural aromas the chocolate has to offer. In fact, Ghirardelli suggests you actually snap your chocolate in half before eating it: "Snap is the feel and sound of a piece of chocolate when you first break it. [It] is a function of the amount and quality of the cocoa butter in the chocolate, how finely ground the chocolate particles are, and how well the chocolate was tempered."
You're shoving it all into your mouth at once.
Taking a teeny tiny baby bite of your chocolate first is yet another way to ensure that you're readying your delicate not-currently-chocolate-eating palate for the chocolate that's soon to come. No, seriously—that's another professional recommendation.
You're chewing it.
Turns out chocolate isn't meant to be chewed. Next time, press it to the roof of your mouth, suck, and then let it melt there for about as long as you can stand it. Not only does that make the whole experience of consuming the stuff last longer, but it'll also (again) help you appreciate all the usually hidden complexities of what you're eating.
You're mixing chocolates.
Far be it from me to say you shouldn't have Reese's, Hershey's, Snickers, and Twix or whatever in one sitting, but I feel obligated to relay to you that having so many kinds of chocolate at the same time makes the whole sesh a blur for your taste buds after awhile. Stick to one or two varieties at a time if possible. Three, if you must.
You're washing it down too fast.
Another Ghirardelli tip: Don't drink anything immediately after doing the above six things with chocolate! Otherwise, you'll have no way to know if the stuff's got "a 'long finish.' This is simply flavor that lasts a long time in your mouth." That's all to say if you're chugging water after eating chocolate, you're cutting a good few minutes off your chocolate enjoyment time.
...And that would be a goddamn shame.
