"@here POLL: Do you want blue cheese in your buffalo mac?"
Such was the beginning of a lengthy discussion about blue cheese in the internal Delish chat room, in which I learned most of my co-workers are totally against me when it comes to one very important cheese opinion: Blue cheese is objectively the worst. Now, to clarify, most people said no to that question, but they still supported the hell out of the cheese. I'm here to take down that argument.
Without further ado, I present to you all the reasons blue cheese is the WORST, from someone who loves cheese more than any other food on this planet.
It smells...horrific.
Of course this is the first point! Nothing ruins a perfectly lovely cheese board like a hunk of blue cheese stinking up the place. It does not smell good and is therefore not enjoyable to eat. And unlike, say, hard boiled eggs, which are objectively pungent, too, blue cheese is the kind of smelly that stays with you as you eat it. It's not a catch-a-whiff-and-move-on situation, it LINGERS.
It gets everywhere.
Because of its crumbly consistency, blue cheese isn't the kind of ingredient you can avoid once it infiltrates your space. If it's on a salad, or a sandwich, the second you try and move it out of the way, it spreads all over the place, and the rest of your meal is ruined. Have some respect, blue cheese.
It's part of the worst salad.
Speaking of salads, blue cheese is a fixture in what is clearly the lowest salad on the totem pole: the wedge salad. Who on god's green earth truly enjoys eating a chunk of iceberg lettuce? Tomatoes, I get. Bacon, duh, bring it on. But the base itself, PLUS the addition of blue cheese crumbles? Hard pass.
Ranch > blue cheese.
I don't know how this is even an argument, but it's one I saw pop up on Twitter several times during my attempt to understand why people enjoy blue cheese. For some reason, people like to pit ranch against blue cheese. Ranch is SO FAR superior to blue cheese, I don't even know where to start. Ranch makes all the best junk foods better—chicken tenders, french fries, pizza. Blue cheese dressing, meanwhile, drowns out the taste of anything it goes on.
Literally every cheese is better.
If after all this, you still think blue cheese is a cheese worth eating, fine, you do you. But let me leave you with this last thought. If we were ranking all the cheeses ever, SOME cheese would have to take last place. You're telling me creamy brie, or sharp cheddar, or spicy pepper jack, or the best of all cheeses, manchego, would fall below smelly, chunky blue cheese? No siree bob. I believe in my heart blue cheese would earn last place. That is all.
