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The 9 Worst Wedding Gifts To Put On Your Registry

Consider this the Pre-Marie Kondo method: Ask if it brings you joy before you even buy it.

By
Wedding Cake
Getty Images

It's the day you look forward to your whole life — the chance to set a Crate and Barrel/Macy's/Target phaser to "buy" and scan every kitchen gadget your heart desires. As glorious as it is, it's easy to go overboard, scanning every item that's up for sale (and, admittedly, trying to scan things that aren't) ... and winding up with a bunch of stuff you don't actually need. Or want. Or ever, ever use.

1

Mandolines

Product, Metal, Silver, Automotive exhaust, Cylinder, Steel, Circle, Aluminium, Nickel, Plastic,

Yes, mandolines are the secret to perfectly thinly sliced potatoes for your gratin, but they can quickly make your kitchen turn into the set of a straight-to-DVD horror film with one wrong slice. Just ask Chrissy Teigen and John Legend.

(If you really want one though, add a pair of kevlar gloves to reduce your risk of cutting a finger while slicing away.)

2

Votive-Powered Fondue Sets

Small appliance, Drinkware, Home appliance, Kitchen appliance, Serveware, Cookware and bakeware, Kitchen utensil, Cylinder, Kitchen appliance accessory, Recipe,
Amazon

Tiny, single-serving fondue sets?! It's too cute for words — and seems to perfect for date night — until you realize how long it takes for cheese (or chocolate) to melt when powered by a candle. Even if you pour already melted fondue in there, using the candle to keep it warm and pliable, it's not long before you realize this is just one more awkward-shaped gadget to clean and clog your pantry. Pass.

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3

Too Of-The-Moment Accessories

Portlandia "Put A Bird On It"
Portlandia/IFC

Remember 2011, when the answer to every decorating decision was to simply put a bird on it? It's easy to get so swept up in the latest design trends that you go HAM with it, applying that unifying theme to everything — and winding up with a kitchen and dining room set that looks dated in five years. 

If you love teal, chevron stripes or birds on everything, you do you. If you love it just because it's everywhere on Pinterest, beware.

4

Cake Pop Makers and Other Easy-Bake-Oven-Esque Gadgets

Food, Ingredient, Sweetness, Confectionery, Dessert, Orange, Cuisine, Rum ball, Recipe, Chocolate,
Amazon

Mini donut makers, cake pop machines, mini pie bakers — all of these mini appliances promise to make it insanely easy to have bakery-quality treats at home, but they take up serious space in your pantry. You're better off baking pies in a muffin tin, or making cake pops using crumbled cake and frosting, Bakerella-style, anyway. (As for the donuts, think long and hard about how often you'll want to bake from scratch — versus hitting up Dunkin'.)

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5

Ravioli and Pasta Makers

Machine, Household appliance accessory, Metal, Still life photography, Office instrument, Nickel,
Flickr/TokyoFoodCast

Married life seems to trigger these grandiose feels of domesticity: "Yes, I'll start making my pasta from scratch! I'll spend Sunday mornings at the farmer's market, then slow-cook my own homemade sauce before mixing and stuffing my own organic ravioli!" The problem? As romantic as the idea is, we hardly stop to ask whether we'd actually enjoy giving up football Sunday (or binge-watching The OA, or whatever you normally do) to wrestle with dough.

6

Knife Blocks

Khaki, Tan, Beige, Strap,
Amazon

They take up precious, precious counter space, and half of those knives you wind up never (or rarely) using. You're better off asking for three high-quality ones: a paring knife, a chef's knife and a serrated knife. With that trio, you can accomplish just about anything in the kitchen.

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7

High-End Espresso Machines

Machine, Machine tool, Cylinder, Engineering, Factory, Still life photography, Steel, Industry, Automotive engine part,
Flickr/jimmyweee

That $3,000 coffee maker can whip up a latte that's so perfectly made even Mugatu wouldn't hurl it at someone, but if you're the type who hits up Starbucks three times a week, you probably won't change your habits just because you've got a high-end piece of equipment. 

8

Fine China

Serveware, Dishware, Pattern, Plate, Porcelain, Hardwood, Circle, Ceramic, Platter, Wood stain,
Flickr/Tracy the astonishing

It's a wedding essential — that hardly anyone ever uses IRL. You're better off buying winter white Corelle plates, or something elegant that's a bit more durable, suggest some married redditors who've been there, bought that (and wished they hadn't).

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9

Single-Use Tools

Finger, Food, Sweetness, Fruit, Ingredient, Produce, Natural foods, Strawberry, Strawberries, Frutti di bosco,
Williams-Sonoma

The universe is rife with tools that only serve a single purpose (ahem, strawberry slicers, garlic peelers, asparagus trimmers), and they really only make sense if you use the ingredient it's intended for alllll the time. And you really, really need a timesaver that can't be hacked using a straw, drinking glass or other household item.

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