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1Mandolines
Yes, mandolines are the secret to perfectly thinly sliced potatoes for your gratin, but they can quickly make your kitchen turn into the set of a straight-to-DVD horror film with one wrong slice. Just ask Chrissy Teigen and John Legend.
(If you really want one though, add a pair of kevlar gloves to reduce your risk of cutting a finger while slicing away.)
2Votive-Powered Fondue Sets
AmazonTiny, single-serving fondue sets?! It's too cute for words — and seems to perfect for date night — until you realize how long it takes for cheese (or chocolate) to melt when powered by a candle. Even if you pour already melted fondue in there, using the candle to keep it warm and pliable, it's not long before you realize this is just one more awkward-shaped gadget to clean and clog your pantry. Pass.
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3Too Of-The-Moment Accessories
Portlandia/IFCRemember 2011, when the answer to every decorating decision was to simply put a bird on it? It's easy to get so swept up in the latest design trends that you go HAM with it, applying that unifying theme to everything — and winding up with a kitchen and dining room set that looks dated in five years.
If you love teal, chevron stripes or birds on everything, you do you. If you love it just because it's everywhere on Pinterest, beware.
4Cake Pop Makers and Other Easy-Bake-Oven-Esque Gadgets
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5Ravioli and Pasta Makers
Flickr/TokyoFoodCastMarried life seems to trigger these grandiose feels of domesticity: "Yes, I'll start making my pasta from scratch! I'll spend Sunday mornings at the farmer's market, then slow-cook my own homemade sauce before mixing and stuffing my own organic ravioli!" The problem? As romantic as the idea is, we hardly stop to ask whether we'd actually enjoy giving up football Sunday (or binge-watching The OA, or whatever you normally do) to wrestle with dough.
6Knife Blocks
AmazonThey take up precious, precious counter space, and half of those knives you wind up never (or rarely) using. You're better off asking for three high-quality ones: a paring knife, a chef's knife and a serrated knife. With that trio, you can accomplish just about anything in the kitchen.
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7High-End Espresso Machines
Flickr/jimmyweeeThat $3,000 coffee maker can whip up a latte that's so perfectly made even Mugatu wouldn't hurl it at someone, but if you're the type who hits up Starbucks three times a week, you probably won't change your habits just because you've got a high-end piece of equipment.
8Fine China
Flickr/Tracy the astonishingIt's a wedding essential — that hardly anyone ever uses IRL. You're better off buying winter white Corelle plates, or something elegant that's a bit more durable, suggest some married redditors who've been there, bought that (and wished they hadn't).
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9Single-Use Tools
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