When it comes to mayonnaise, there is no middle ground. You either deem it the nectar of the gods, or see it for what it truly is: a greasy condiment that makes any dish taste blander. At the risk of being melodramatic, let me state my case:
1. Its texture can best be described as "gelatinous."
Pull a spoonful out of the jar and examine how mayonnaise looks: It's jiggly and not totally creamy, the condiment equivalent of cellulite. As shallow as that sounds, we know we can't be the only ones who get a little grossed out by a wobbly lump of the stuff.
2. It dulls other flavors.
Sure, if you overdo it on hot sauce, mayonnaise can cut the spiciness, but as one fellow mayo-hater commented, "it doesn't add any flavor on its own." For a heat-taming, creamy sandwich topper with more flavor, try mashed avocado or hummus. Your sandwich will never be the same.
3. Its best use is as a binder.
We will concede that mayonnaise makes an excellent base for pasta, egg, and tuna salads, but really, that's only because it helps hold everything together, making it easier to slather on a sandwich or ladle onto a paper plate at a bustling cookout. But really, do we even need it? Greek yogurt can provide the same creaminess with an added boost of protein.
4. It kills lice.
No, really: Mayonnaise is listed, along with petroleum jelly and mineral oil, as a way to suffocate lice, according to the Minnesota Department of Health. Even though the ingredients are in no way toxic for you, doesn't this knowledge leave a bad taste in your mouth?
5. It ruins coleslaw.
Vinegar-based slaws have tanginess and crunch, making for a standout side, but mayo-based ones tend to be bland, watery, and limp.
6. It's 90 calories of nothingness per serving.
Mayo is a great source of healthy fats — roughly 40 percent of your Omega 3-ALAs, according to Hellmann's — but there's no fiber, protein, or anything else, really. Oh wait, there's some sodium. — just what we need.
7. It leaves a film-y aftertaste.
And it just lingers in your mouth, long after your last bite of BLT.
But there is one compelling argument for mayonnaise's existence:
Deviled eggs. And we've got 13 over-the-top delish ways to make them.
Are you Team Mayo or Team Get-That-Stuff-Away-from-Me? We want to hear your thoughts — as well as any recommendations for dishes that could change our opinion — in the comments below.
Follow Delish on Instagram.
