Whether you're preparing a big dinner or having a low-key holiday at home, any type of hosting can bring stress and fatigue. Perhaps you're the go-to host for every holiday, from Easter to the Fourth of July to Christmas, or maybe it's your first time having people over. Holidays can bring out a lot of stress and emotion, so we went straight to the professionals for advice on how to cope and make it through, no matter your situation.
"Holidays can be lovely events to look forward to spending time with family, friends, and community," says Dr. Vanessa Kennedy, clinical psychologist and therapist at Driftwood Recovery. "However, hosting can lead to the pressure to curate picture-perfect moments or the meal everyone will be talking about for years, creating stress and anxiety."
Here is some advice from our experts on hosting your next holiday. (You can even pass on hosting altogether!)
Give Yourself More Time Than You Think You Need
We've all probably experienced racing around the kitchen seconds before guests arrive, wishing we had given ourselves just a bit more time. "Don’t schedule a 3-hour hair appointment the morning of your gathering," says Kelly Jeanmaire, wedding planner and owner of The Main Event By Kelly. "Give yourself breathing room so you’re not rushing or stressed before guests arrive."
Break Your To-Do List Into Manageable Pieces
"I think the biggest thing you need to do is to do as much prep work as possible," says Danielle Rothweiler, owner and lead wedding and event planner at Rothweiler Event Design. "Be realistic about what you can handle and break it apart as much as possible." She recommends grocery shopping one day, prepping food the next, and then finishing everything up on the day of the event.
Prep Food Ahead Of Time
This one goes without much explaining. The more you prep, including chopping all the ingredients, assembling the salad, or baking the dessert, the more time you'll save on the day of. And more time means flexibility to handle any mishaps that might come your way.
"Cook ahead, or don’t cook at all," Jeanmaire says. "Prep as much in advance as possible, or bring in a caterer so you’re not stuck in the kitchen."
Delegate Tasks
"Hosting takes enough energy, give yourself a break where you can," Jeanmaire says. This could be a cleaner to tidy up or a caterer to handle the food. "Even outsourcing just a few dishes can make a huge difference."
Outsourcing help doesn't mean you necessarily need to hire people, but you can ask family and friends to help with certain tasks. "Enlisting the help of others can be difficult to ask for, but your mental health and holiday happiness are the priority, as opposed to becoming a ball of stress and sadness," Dr. Kennedy says.
This is also helpful if you have financial constraints. "We might feel the pressure to get great gifts for our families, buy new dishes, or cook a big gourmet feast, struggling to figure out how to pay the usual bills," Dr. Kennedy adds. "A helpful way to manage this is to plan ahead with guests to bring side dishes, desserts, or what they would like to drink."
And once everything is done, Rothweiler says she enlists others to help clean up and put things away.
Add A Small Personal Touch
Jeanmaire recommends adding one small personal touch to whatever you're hosting. "A handwritten name tag, a little to-go treat, or even a personalized note at each place setting makes people feel special without requiring a big lift."
Remember What Really Matters
"Focus on connection, not perfection. Guests won’t remember if your napkins were wrinkled, but they will remember if they felt welcome, comfortable, and seen," Jeanmaire says.
"Life is too short to dread the holidays. Remember to breathe, relax, and enjoy the moments with your loved ones, creating memories that you can look back on with love," Dr. Kennedy adds.
